Making Friendships: Mature Dating

Showing posts with label Mature Dating. Show all posts

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Why It Is Good For a Man to Be Just Friends With a Woman

Quite often you will hear the debate about whether or not it is good for men and women to be just friends. Now, I won't delve into the area of whether or not committed couples should have close opposite sex friends. What I want to explore is whether or not single men can benefit from being just friends with a woman. To be upfront about it, my position is that it is one of the best things that a man can do. Most guys have too few female friends and they pay a price for this.

It's not uncommon for a man to reach his mid twenties without really having much of a grasp at all on how the female mind works. It's all too common for guys to look at women as being only possible mates and nothing more. While some of that definitely is due to the way that we are "wired" to be, a lot of that also has to do with societal conditioning that separates the girls and the boys at a young age. So, it is not entirely natural for things to be that way.

Here's why I think it is beneficial for a guy to be just friends with a woman:

I alluded to why in the previous paragraph, but I will expand on it here. As I mentioned, it's pretty routine for a man to reach into his mid twenties and even beyond that age and still have absolutely no clue as to the way that women really are. These guys will instead possess an idealized image of the way that they think women should be like, and many times this prevents them from really having quality relationships.

Had they had more opposite sex friendships, they probably would lose that idealized image of the way that women are "supposed" to be. I know I did. What happens when a guy gets to have some insights into the ways that women really think and feel and act is... he gets to see a much more realistic picture and so, when he gets into a long term relationship, there are far fewer surprises that cause conflicts.

There is also the fact that men and women tend to socialize in a slightly different manner and this is where it really becomes beneficial for a guy to have female friends, because in order to get into that long term relationship... he has to know how to make a woman feel attracted to him. As a teenager, I did not start off with too many female friends and I honestly had no clues at all about how to make a girl like me.

By the time I reached my late teens, I had made many female friends and all of a sudden, it seemed pretty easy to create attraction with a woman. It all came from the fact that I had learned through my female friends and their experiences with guys, what worked and what did not work. I wasn't one of those guys that got locker room advice from the fellas who had no greater clue than I did... I got REAL insights that showed me what worked like a charm and what to avoid at all costs.

In being just friends with women, a guy not only picks up insights that will make him more successful with women, he also gets insights into what women actually are like in all their moments, not just a few snips here and there. That is something that guys who do not have female friends just do not get to experience and it ends up causing them lots of heartaches, lots of confusion, and lots of lonely nights.

When should a guy make it a point to pick up some female friends?

The earlier the better in my opinion. However, when he is really trying to get women figured out, that is probably the BEST time possible. So many guys get to a point where they really desire to have a girlfriend, but they are stuck in catch 22 kind of situation, because their lack of female friends means they lack the ability to create real attraction with women and to know what little social cues to use to make that attraction grow to where she wants to be their girlfriend.

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Saturday, 26 November 2011

Personality and Relationships

"And above all, have fervent love for one another: for love shall cover the multitude of sins."

Most of us are probably allured by the attractive notion that effortless relationships exist. Whether it be happily-ever-after marriages, or friendships which last forever, or parent/child bonds which supercede the need to understand each other, we'd all like to believe that our most intimate relationships are unconditional, and strong enough to withstand whatever may come. However, at some point in our lives most of us need to face the fact that relationships require effort to keep them strong and positive, and that even wonderful, strong relationships can be destroyed by neglect.

Whether you're looking to improve a love relationship, familial relationships, friendships, or employer/employee relationships, understanding your own personality type and the personality type of the other person involved in the relationship will bring a new dynamic to the situation, which will allow better understanding and communication. Although the different types of relationships have very different characteristics and specific needs, there are two basic areas which seem to be critical in all relationships: Expectations and Communication. What do we expect from ourselves and the other person involved in the relationship? How do we communicate these expectations, and our feelings and opinions to the person in the relationship? How does our personality type affect our expectations and methods of communication? Does our personality type affect who we are romantically attracted to? How does it affect who our friends are, and who we work with best? These are the questions which we address in this section of The Personality Page.

Disclaimer: Please note that we are not prescribing an absolute solution to your relationship problems, nor are we stating that there's any guarantee of improved odds with particular type pairings. Statistics show that individuals who are most happy within their marriages are those who have the highest levels of inner peace and those who have the most optimistic outlook on life in general. We do not address people's emotional standing here when discussing relationship issues, which is another important aspect of relationship dynamics.

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Social Networking to Solve Friends Problems

In exploring ideas that leverage social networking to help common life situations, one idea that may be worth exploring is a system that lets friends share personal crises, problems, or challenges.

Social networks are usually driven by good, happy news about ourselves, not "I'm in trouble," "I have a personal crisis," etc. A system or an app can be developed that, with the right confidentiality settings, will enable friends to help each other with personal issues by tapping their collective experiences and contacts.

Perhaps these social apps would have much more controlled "broadcast" or "sharing" applications to get around the negative aspects of revealing a personal problem. Perhaps such systems would use a few close friends to be the "fronts" for the person with the crisis in broadcasting the issue and inviting recommendations for solutions (e.g. "My friend's losing his house, under his mortgage..."). This would get around having to disclose to hundreds your personal problem and would invite friends to pool in their personal networks and collective knowledge to help solve a crisis. I can see this working across realms like finance, health, relationships, depression, and beyond.

How will such an app make money? Contextual ads relevant to the problems (therapists, emergency loans, etc.) could be one solution. Perhaps the person with the problem could suggest a payment reward to anyone who helps them solve a problem when appropriate (e.g. "I'll pay 18% interest if anyone can loan me $10,000 for 6 months," or "$1000 if someone can find me a job or a new roommate.") But perhaps this won't apply to "I am severely depressed and just can't get out of it" types of crises.

It would be very interesting to experiment with such a model, and I think that tapping your daily feed to see what sort of things you can help your friends with would be extremely fulfilling. Perhaps you could reward people with points, but this would be a more methodical channel for those who just like to help out everyone whenever they can - to be pinged with a crisis that anyone in their network may have.

If this ever took off, it could actually help solve lots of personal problems, even bring people closer together (and hopefully make good money!).

Saturday, 19 November 2011

Find a Person for Free with Your Computer

Those days are gone of having to pay high prices for a private eye to find a missing person. In the past, before the revolution of the internet, it was a high priced method to carry out locating any missing person. Thankfully, those times have transformed with the web, in addition to the creation of very precise search engine website innovations.

Back in the day, it could cost literally hundreds or possibly even 1000's of smackeroos for a private detective to commit enough time in finding a family member or friend. There were clearly no central databases readily available for a private investigator to look in. Their only choices were to go between states of the last established properties of an individual being located and research databases in the regional cities and states. Additionally, nearly all of those types of databases in past times were not open for the general public observation and the private detective usually had to tug several favors needed to examine them.
It's practically incredible the fact that the price tag for finding a missing person has come down to nearly nothing during the past two decades as a result of the advance of the cyber web. We now have access to the numerous data sources in state and city court houses that at one time were complex to look with if not extremely difficult to realize usage of.

The technique of browsing for a person that is missing today fundamentally will require going to a leading people search engine and entering in the names and previously identified addresses for the people we are looking for. Should you have a previously determined telephone number for your person, that could be extremely beneficial too. Make sure not to ever restrict your inquiries to the primary web page of listings. Oftentimes these forms of searches simply cannot be relied on to be very detailed and turn up on the very first web page. We advise proceeding through at a minimum the 1st 10 pages of search engine results each time you are searching for a member of the family or colleague.

Furthermore, take note that you cannot assume all search engines provide equivalent results. You can easily do an identical search in an alternative internet database and receive totally different outcomes. It's a good idea to utilize the top three search sites before giving up.

Fortunately the only cost for implementing the people search data sources nowadays to search out a person is the time expenditure you put straight into using them. The companies are practically all entirely free to work with. In the event you have a fast connection to the net you can actually explore people as frequently as you like.

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

How to cope with peer pressure

How you cope with peer pressure as a teenager/youth could either make or destroy you totally. Friends, colleagues and peers are there to add, remove, build, destroy, cage or liberate that hidden quality you have inside. So it is very important to know how to exist and grow even under their constant pressure as a teenager or a youth.

1. Make friends with those that soothe your life style, do not make friends out of obligation, pressure, attention, sympathy or in fulfillment of a societal views and acceptance. People must earn your friendship.

A friendship or company must respect you for who you are, it must listen to you, it must never put pressure on you in any way and it must not question your belief, your views and heritage. All of these must be considered before taking a person or group of people as friends. Always remember that friends and colleagues will always put pressure on you in all areas of your life, but the question is, is it a positive pressure or a negative one. Only you have the answers.

2. Know yourself, knowing yourself very well makes you locate and connect with your kind. Are you an introvert or an extrovert, a fun loving or a quiet person and so on? The more you are to identify your innermost personality, the better, because you are able to find the right people to move with, which helps reduce the pressure of trying to be among.

3. Build yourself an impervious mind. This kind of mind helps you sieve and remove words that are toxic to your personality. You hear them but you never act on them, especially the negative words. With this kind of mind, you are not quick to act, rather you take time to think over all that comes your way.

Like your friends might pressure you to start drinking and smoking, but if you don't allow the pressure to get through and break down your defense, then you never do what they say.

When you believe in yourself, everyone around you will start believing in you, no matter what. Just don't let the world get to you easily, be yourself and do not ever try to be like anyone else. That person might be able to cope with such personality but may not be able to.

Knowing and applying all these principles gives you an edge over all pressure that might come your way.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Gifts make the bond of Relation Strong

But choosing the right gift is not an easy task; the chosen gift should express the true message so that it will prove your inner feelings. Gift ideas for men must be the ideas to express your feelings. For that you need to be careful while choosing any gift item because it must have good thoughts and feelings to be there in the gift item when you are looking for gift ideas for men.

While choosing gifts for men the idea depends on two main things, the lifestyle and personality of the man. Therefore you need to spend some extra time to know men's gift ideas that compliments with the personality. There are crores of gift products available in the market which includes various accessories, perfumes, deodorants, shaving kits and many more but you need to choose out the right one or two out from them that perfectly suit the personality and personal interest of the man.

There is no better way to express the weakness for someone special then with a heart touching gift. The special person in your life deserves great gifts for men that can say just how much you love him as every person loves to be pampered. The only thing you should know while choosing the right gift for your beloved one is his thought. For that you need to be aware about his nature and behaviour.

If that special person is a romantic one, then you can choose homemade gifts like scrapbook, handmade cookies, cakes, photo collection, romantic song CD that he loves etc. There are various other ways to surprise your special one. Instead of using materialistic gift you can use those ways to surprise him as a gift. You can prepare a special meal for him if he is a foodie. Can bring him to some places where your special someone always wanted to visit, can bring him to a discotheque if he is dance lover, can company him to any musical concert if he is a musical lover and can company him to any sports events if he is a sports lover. No matter what way you use as a gift for your special someone but the gift should express your feelings towards him, because gifts become the mirror for your love and care.

Not just for the beloved one, a sweet gift can prove your attachment with anyone. Just like gifts for dad are a commonly used and the most popular festivity amongst the children's all over the world. The auspicious "Fathers Day" which was incepted in the year 1909 and is celebrated on the third Sunday of June every year is the main source for the childrens to make happy their father by offering the best gift. This festivity commemorates the endless love of father's and their kindness and care towards their children. On that auspicious day childrens arranges cultural program for their fathers and brings special gifts to make their father happy.

Monday, 31 October 2011

The One Crucial Strategy to Get Your Ex Back

If you've been thinking that your attempt to get your ex back is a hopeless one, you are well advised to change your outlook to a more positive one. You'll be surprised at the number of people who manage to revive a failed relationship. In truth, it is not a phenomenon restricted to any one culture or part of the world. Stories come from around the world of both common people and celebrities who broke up and then got back together.

A couple of my own acquaintance got back together five years after a divorce, and even married again! It may serve you well to know how psychologists explain this phenomenon, if you are looking to get back with your ex.

What Leads to a Break Up

In the first phase of their relationship, people are generally focused on discovering who the other person is, and they can't help but compare what they find to their own benchmarks for a good partner. For instance, if your girlfriend finds out that you are very laid back in matters where she would prefer a person to be proactive, she is most likely to feel disappointment. So, when you find out qualities that disappoint you, what do you do? You try to change them. This is where problems start. People have unrealistic expectations of change, and this leads to fights between couples.

Besides, in trying to change your partner, you tend to become obsessed with their faults. This leads to further disappointment, anger and frustration. A break up eventually follows. But then what happens after the break up is the important thing for you to know, if you are to get your ex back.

Why Couples Get Back

When people begin to experience the void left in their lives by the absence of their significant other, with whom they shared such intimacy, their perspective begins to change. The situation is not immediate anymore and emotions are not running high. It is then that one begins to develop a more balanced perspective of the situation, and begins to question whether it was all that important to change one's partner. Acceptance begins to replace the desire to see urgent change, and the second time round partners are a lot more accommodating.

The Lessons For You

If you want to get back with your ex, you too will need to make the transition from a 'changer' to an 'acceptor', and bring down your expectations. Your partner will need to do the same. However, as follows from the analysis just described, you will both need time and space to look at things differently. So, to revive your failed relationship, it may not be such a bad idea to lay low for a while and give your partner some time to think.

Furthermore, when you give your partner some space, you will be giving them the opportunity to miss you, which is crucial if they are to feel the longing to be with you again. This does not mean that you should necessarily abandon all attempts at communication. It may actually be a good idea to stay in touch and remind your partner that they are still important to you. however, the exact communication strategy you choose to get your ex back, should depend wholly on the dynamics of your specific relationship.

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