Don't lecture me! Can we have a conversation? That means, each of us get a chance to share our thoughts, ideas and feelings. Where I live the downtown consists of many one way streets which can be confusing for visitors and frustrating for locals who have to go up two blocks to get back to a place you want to go. Communication is a two-way street that should have traffic flowing freely in both directions. Listening is essential in communication. Don't think about what you are going to say while listening to the other person. Repeat what the other person is saying. Now, it is time for you to communicate your thoughts, ideas and feelings.
What should I do if my communication street has a traffic jam? Here are three simple steps that can be used to help clear that traffic jam and allow the communication traffic to flow freely.
1. Compliment - the other person about good qualities or something you admire about him/her.
2. Console - do your best to understand the other persons point of view. Seek to understand by imagining yourself in his/her shoes. When you imagine think of how he/she may feel, what he/she may be thinking and why he/she may be acting in a certain way.
3. Communicate - Now it is time to communicate by receiving, repeating, and responding.
Have you ever felt awkward receiving a gift from someone? The gift was nice and you really liked the gift. You just did not know how to respond. Do I say thank you, should I hug the person? Communication can sometimes feel awkward when receiving because you do not know how to respond. Receiving can be easy when you know how to respond. My little secret is to respond by repeating what you heard in your own words. This keeps you honest by forcing you to listen for understanding. Once you have an understanding now you are ready to respond.
It definitely takes two to Tango and it takes two to communicate. Let's take the time to compliment, console and communicate with those we have relationships with. Remember the better you communicate the more effective you can be , therefore, leading to success in your life!
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