We all know that relationships have ups and downs. Hopefully, more ups, then downs. And with every relationship, they must have open lines of communication. Whether you are making a friend over the internet, meeting with a client, or making a decision on a joint venture, you are building a relationship.
It's important to have a clear understanding of your partners morals and values so in exchange, you know how to deal with them. That only comes from talking and expressing your wants and desires.
I think a reason people grow apart is because of unexpressed feelings and emotions. In order to not express a feeling you have to numb out part of your emotional center. After a period of time of holding on to your feelings and desires without expressing them, you become numb. Years go by and all the while you are suppressing your desires and you and your partner become numb when you are around each other. Withholding your feelings for a long time and wanting to express them can build up like a volcano and then you explode. Then, things are said out of frustration, disappointment, anger and an argument ensues and all hell breaks loose.
So one way to bring passion back to a relationship is to visit a relationship or couples counselor. You could look into working with a Mars and Venus Coach. Many couples are finding that having a coach draw a picture of their relationship provides clarity and understanding of self and the role they play in the relationship.
One person described marriage as "Who's childhood past is going to win?" For instance, you clean the bathroom the way your mother taught you how to clean and to you, it's clean. But by your spouses standards of cleaning, the way they were taught by their mother, it's not clean. They might say, "That doesn't go there" or "put that under the sink." We all have different upbringings and it's important to talk about your concerns.
The second way is to come up with common grounds for the tidiness of the living space or what have you. You have to do some negotiating and decide on some shared values and standards so that you can get what you want and they get what they want. For example, you may decide that leaving dishes in the sink over night is OK, but they must be done in the morning before anyone leaves.
The numerous differences that couples have can build up over time. So the third and extremely effective technique is called a emptying out session. You start by saying, here are some things about today I'd like to get off my chest, or let's clear the air, or I want to get clarity about what you said today, or I want to ask you about this. You do not want those things to build up so sit down at night and talk about them.
Many people do not have the techniques to deal with these situations. We all have struggles and strife in different areas of our lives and at different times. Receiving guidance and encouragement from someone who has proven they are successful at what they do, can be very beneficial. That's how a coach can be of unlimited value. We are constantly developing, and investing in self is paramount. The rewards are endless, there's no limit.
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