Quite often you will hear the debate about whether or not it is good for men and women to be just friends. Now, I won't delve into the area of whether or not committed couples should have close opposite sex friends. What I want to explore is whether or not single men can benefit from being just friends with a woman. To be upfront about it, my position is that it is one of the best things that a man can do. Most guys have too few female friends and they pay a price for this.
It's not uncommon for a man to reach his mid twenties without really having much of a grasp at all on how the female mind works. It's all too common for guys to look at women as being only possible mates and nothing more. While some of that definitely is due to the way that we are "wired" to be, a lot of that also has to do with societal conditioning that separates the girls and the boys at a young age. So, it is not entirely natural for things to be that way.
Here's why I think it is beneficial for a guy to be just friends with a woman:
I alluded to why in the previous paragraph, but I will expand on it here. As I mentioned, it's pretty routine for a man to reach into his mid twenties and even beyond that age and still have absolutely no clue as to the way that women really are. These guys will instead possess an idealized image of the way that they think women should be like, and many times this prevents them from really having quality relationships.
Had they had more opposite sex friendships, they probably would lose that idealized image of the way that women are "supposed" to be. I know I did. What happens when a guy gets to have some insights into the ways that women really think and feel and act is... he gets to see a much more realistic picture and so, when he gets into a long term relationship, there are far fewer surprises that cause conflicts.
There is also the fact that men and women tend to socialize in a slightly different manner and this is where it really becomes beneficial for a guy to have female friends, because in order to get into that long term relationship... he has to know how to make a woman feel attracted to him. As a teenager, I did not start off with too many female friends and I honestly had no clues at all about how to make a girl like me.
By the time I reached my late teens, I had made many female friends and all of a sudden, it seemed pretty easy to create attraction with a woman. It all came from the fact that I had learned through my female friends and their experiences with guys, what worked and what did not work. I wasn't one of those guys that got locker room advice from the fellas who had no greater clue than I did... I got REAL insights that showed me what worked like a charm and what to avoid at all costs.
In being just friends with women, a guy not only picks up insights that will make him more successful with women, he also gets insights into what women actually are like in all their moments, not just a few snips here and there. That is something that guys who do not have female friends just do not get to experience and it ends up causing them lots of heartaches, lots of confusion, and lots of lonely nights.
When should a guy make it a point to pick up some female friends?
The earlier the better in my opinion. However, when he is really trying to get women figured out, that is probably the BEST time possible. So many guys get to a point where they really desire to have a girlfriend, but they are stuck in catch 22 kind of situation, because their lack of female friends means they lack the ability to create real attraction with women and to know what little social cues to use to make that attraction grow to where she wants to be their girlfriend.
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